Wednesday, October 12, 2016

I slipped, and kept slipping.

Do you ever look around and think "This isn't fair" or "Why do other people have easier lives than me?" I did, a lot. I kept telling myself that it wasn't fair that I had to struggle to lose weight. I had to struggle while tons of people were able to cruise through their lives without struggling with their weight. I decided to eat, and eat, and eat, and EAT. I would eat whenever I wanted and whatever I wanted. I gained back SO much weight. Folks, I was at 393 lbs! How did I not learn? Yes, I may struggle with my weight, but others may struggle with things that I don't. We are not all made equal. Our bodies are so incredibly different.

At the end of June 2016, I decided to make a change. I was tired of only wearing stretchy pants. I was tired of being tired. I hid from the camera. I was done. I was done being a binge eater. My emotions didn't need to be "fixed" with food. No. More.

I decided it was time to try an elimination diet. I had some issues with plantar fasciitis that I thought may be caused by gluten intake. Once I was done with my elimination diet, I started to add back foods to see what they did to my body. I learned that beans and gluten are not good for me. So, I won't eat them like I used to. It's just that simple. I will allow myself to eat them occasionally, because I never want to tell myself that I can't have or do something.

Since the end of June I have lost nearly 40 lbs with only changing my diet. I am going to start incorporating exercise this week(hopefully tonight). I wanted to make sure that I could be confident in my diet before I change anything else.

With the changes I have made in my diet, I have found that I can control my binge eating. I may look like a crazy lady talking to myself, but I do it. Some days, I have to remind myself to eat. Food is no longer in control of my brain. I am. It is so freeing to know that I can control my eating. I can't say that my eating has been perfect these last few months, but that's okay. I am human. I can say that anything I have eaten that is "off-plan" has only been eaten in small amounts. 4 months ago, I would have eaten all that I could get my hands on.

I can do this. I am doing this.

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